Sean, United States

I was diagnosed with stage four triple hit B cell lymphoma on May 14, 2018. My life collapsed around me. After 21 months of surgeries, chemotherapies, radiation, and taking part in studies of new therapies, I finally was labeled “no evidence of disease” on February 9, 2020. In February 2021, my pet scan showed my rib light up and they removed the entire rib because it showed the signs of the beginning of bone cancer! Then in February 1921, my ninth major surgery, when three cancerous lesions showed up on my chest cavity. I ended up in the hospital with two chest tubes for nine days after that surgery but the margins were clear. Now, trying to make it through the world as a cancer survivor and former Firefighter with all of the muscles on the left side of my chest and abdomen around through my back paralyzed is an interesting journey. At the same time battling lymphoma going through R-EPOC, my ex-wife became very abusive, and use that opportunity to admit that she had been having an affair filed for divorce and used the fear of cancer and lies such as “your dad’s cancer is no worse than the flu. He’s been abusive his whole life. Don’t let him manipulate you with cancer. No one dies from his cancer, so he’s just being a drama queen!” Having to go through Family Court at the same time I’m battling cancer and come up with evidence of parental alienation her lawyer, and a judge willing to take away my rights as a father because of cancer may be really want to give up on the whole system. Here we are three years after my last surgery I have not seen my children. They truly believe that I am an evil person and refused to talk to me. I struggle every day to be active but I also struggle every day mentally because of my children and what I was put through with the Family Court. There are days that go by that I wish I would’ve died from cancer since my career was taken from me, forced to retire, even with 100% disability and medical retirement. I would gladly give all that up just to have the love of my kids! I found out through a lot of reading and education that most spouses upwards of 96 to 98% of them abandon or divorced their spouse during their cancer fight. I’ve been cast off by society cast off by the fire service cast off by the family court system as a second class citizen, my kids were allowed to be abused with parental alienation, and most days I feel, I’m no useful to society anymore than a used tampon after 29 years of being a fireman and a veteran. Writing this, I have those feelings that I wish I would just die missing my kids an angry about how society treated one of its first responders that it relied on. But I’m still here! I’m still fighting even though most days, I feel like I’m just waiting to die I don’t give up! Don’t give up don’t give in and especially don’t roll over for society, or the people who you trusted and loved, or the people who said they would always be there for you  when they abandon you. There are others out there that need to see that they can make it SO be that example for them.