Gem, Barbados

I was 31 years old and looking forward to the bright future I had planned with my husband, with a career that I enjoyed and with hobbies that brought me happiness. 

And then came May 10. 

That was the day the sentence "You have breast cancer" upended my life and things were never the same again. 

Questions swirled in my mind: Where was the lump that we were always told about? I was only 31- Wasn't this something older women got? What did I do wrong? Is this my fault? Am I going to die? What do we have to do next? What about my hair? What about my brother's wedding? 

I was 31 years old. The last weeks of the school year were chaotic as I had reports and portfolios to finish, a graduation to help with, my step-son's graduation, and appointment after appointment to figure out the way forward in terms of treatment. The doctors approved of me travelling to my brother's wedding as the cancer wasn't fast growing. I went and tried to enjoy every single second, every single moment, every single good time because I didn't know if it was going to be the last I had with my brother and his family. 

I was 32 years old when I had a lumpectomy. We had done neo-adjuvant chemotherapy in an effort to shrink the 2cm mass, and it seemed as if it had worked. But then the pathology report came back and the cancer was diffuse. So a few weeks later, after careful discussion with my doctor, I had a bilateral mastectomy. I cried when I looked down at myself the next day because I no longer looked like me. At least, with the lumpectomy I still looked like me with my clothes on. But now there was no denying that something had changed, irrevocably. 

I was 32 years old when the oncologists told me based on the type of breast cancer I had and some other personal factors that they strongly suggested that I have my ovaries removed. So in July, I had a salpingo-oophorectomy and was slammed into menopause. Menopause has not been easy and it has just added to the all the other anxieties that come with each scan, each check up, each doctor visit. I have so many after effects and side effects from the medication I am on and from being in menopause, that I have to stop and try to figure out if something I am experiencing is a normal part of that or if it is something I need to be concerned about.  

I was 33 years old when I found out about Know Your Lemons and the work they do educating the world about the signs of breast cancer. I was intrigued by their volunteer program. So I signed up and became a Global Breath Health Educator with the foundation. I absolutely love sharing the information I have learned from Know Your Lemons and from my own experience, in an effort to help others not go through what I went through and to help those going through it to know they are not alone. 

I am 37 years old. I am still here. The future may not look like how it did when I was 31 but I can honestly say...it doesn't look bad at all.